The Pirates Gold by NCPolice55571 NR

"Captain!" yells Dirty Dandy Jim, "I think we needs to be heading east. Those waters to the west will tear this ship apart."

Dirty Dandy Jim, the Captain's First Mate, would prefer to face other pirates than have the ship break apart. Besides being unable to swim he has a strange phobia to sea weed. Needless to say, the crew members always have a great time finding places to hide sea weed where he'll come across it unexpectedly.

Now Dirty Dandy Jim is a boit of a character. He loves his fancy clothes, but hates to take a bath more than two or three times a year. Hence the name Dirty Dandy Jim.

"Well, Dirty Dandy," replies the Captain, "That's all well and good, but with half the crew ill from dysentery I don't know how we'd fare in a fight against other scurvy knaves of our ilk."

The Captain takes Dirty Dandy's suggestion under consideration...