Ding Dong!

You stand on the doorstep in your birthday suit with the condom clamped firmly in your teeth. Oh boy, will SHE be surprised!

The door opens and you see a little old lady with gray hair.

"AHHHHHH!!!!", she screams as she sees you and slams the door.

The door opens again and this time there is a large man wearing a white undershirt. He is holding a shotgun leveled at your belly.

"Uhhhh...Mr. Smith?", you stammer.

It doesn't take long for the police to arrive. A new first for you, a restraining order and you hadn't even met your date yet!