TRASH by EndMaster R

“Petrov! I’m not here to fight! I’m sorry I called you a communist. I know you Russians…”
“I not Russian you ignorant backwood hillbilly! I Roslakian! I HATE fucking Russians! They shit! They can all get fucked in ass with big dick! Like the homosexuals no?”
“Erm, yeah. Okay Petrov.”
“So! What you want fucker of mothers?”

You can barely contain your laughter of Petrov’s complete annihilation of English swearing.
“Well I was just wondering what kind of shop you were running here, I’m looking for a job.”
“Ah you want job? Yes yes yes! I have what you need in back! Wait….you not cop are you?”

You’re a little confused by what exactly is going on, but it would appear everything here isn’t exactly on the up and up.
“Petrov, do I look like a goddamn cop?”
“I do not know! You ignorant redneck Americans all look alike to me. I see the Cops TV show! I know you set up and fuck people in ass with plunger! Just like back in Old Country!”
“Look I’m not a fuckin’ cop! I just want to work here.”
Petrov gives you a different look.
“Oh! Oh, OH! I sorry my friend, my English is not very good. I misunderstand.”
“No shit.”
“So you want work here, okay I could use big strong man like you here. You stay here in front and when people come in store, direct them to back. If they give trouble, beat shit out of them! Yes?”
“Okay. But isn’t this a repair shop?”
“Hahahahahahaha! You did not know? You most certainly are not cop. No, my friend! This only look like repair shop! Actually is… what is the correct term in English….ah yes! House of Whores!”

Well you found out why Petrov’s is so popular…