You’re not about to go traipsing across the world to save a bunch of hippy freaks from some dumb ass Martians.
“I don’t think so Moreau, see ya around.” You say and get up to leave the bar, before anyone else asks you for any favors. You don’t get two feet outside of the place and suddenly you’re assaulted by a terrible smell. The stench is not unlike that of hot garbage during a heat wave. You turn around holding your nose and see Andre with his big ol’ stupid grotesque fly head.
“Hey Wolf... Can you spare me some money?” he asks
“Fuck Andre! Stand the hell away from me! What the hell? Did you roll around in a septic tank?”
“Uh no, I just ate some fresh turds back in the alleyway…”
“I don’t even know why I asked you that, I already knew the answer. Ugh.” you say continuing to hold your nose.
“They tasted pretty good to me. Hey, but I could use some of that sweet sugar. You got any spare change so I can get me a box of the stuff?”
“Fuck no! I barely have enough money for me! Phew! Just get the fuck away!”
“Aw come on, help a brother out.”
“Broth… what the…look nevermind, I ain’t got time for this shit Andre, if you want sugar so bad just go into a fast food place and stock up on those little free packets!”
“I can’t! A lot of those places use that artificial sugar now! Don’t those idiotic humans know that stuff can cause cancer?! Besides whenever they see me coming they start spraying raid on me and hitting me in the head with swatters. I’ve even attempted to sneak in quietly, but they always seem to sense I’m coming, I can never understand how they do that.”
“Gee, I can’t imagine how they’d be able to do it, Andre.” You say still holding your nose futility trying to block out Andre’s odor.
“I just wish I could get with Janice, she’s got ALL the sugar! (Buzz) But she won’t have anything to do with me; She thinks I’m just low class trash.”
“Well if you’re eating shit, I’d say she’s pretty much right.”
“It’s not just her sugar I’m after though, I think she’s beautiful! She has such heavenly wings, and a nice abdomen! Yep she really kept herself in good condition after all these years. (Buzz)”
“Yeah that’s real nice Andre, tell someone who cares.”
You start to leave and then Andre has the nerve to grab you by the arm.
“Wolf, please you gotta help me out! I can’t live like this anymore, I thought I could being part fly and all, but it’s getting too bad! I’m nearly killed everywhere I go and I’m getting too old to defend myself adequately! Humans hate the sight of me and I disgust them! I need to a home! Janice has a home! You gotta help me convince her that we should be together! Look, you know she’s rich too! You said you were in need of money too right? Maybe if we’re successful, something can be worked out.”
“I don’t think so Moreau, see ya around.” You say and get up to leave the bar, before anyone else asks you for any favors. You don’t get two feet outside of the place and suddenly you’re assaulted by a terrible smell. The stench is not unlike that of hot garbage during a heat wave. You turn around holding your nose and see Andre with his big ol’ stupid grotesque fly head.
“Hey Wolf... Can you spare me some money?” he asks
“Fuck Andre! Stand the hell away from me! What the hell? Did you roll around in a septic tank?”
“Uh no, I just ate some fresh turds back in the alleyway…”
“I don’t even know why I asked you that, I already knew the answer. Ugh.” you say continuing to hold your nose.
“They tasted pretty good to me. Hey, but I could use some of that sweet sugar. You got any spare change so I can get me a box of the stuff?”
“Fuck no! I barely have enough money for me! Phew! Just get the fuck away!”
“Aw come on, help a brother out.”
“Broth… what the…look nevermind, I ain’t got time for this shit Andre, if you want sugar so bad just go into a fast food place and stock up on those little free packets!”
“I can’t! A lot of those places use that artificial sugar now! Don’t those idiotic humans know that stuff can cause cancer?! Besides whenever they see me coming they start spraying raid on me and hitting me in the head with swatters. I’ve even attempted to sneak in quietly, but they always seem to sense I’m coming, I can never understand how they do that.”
“Gee, I can’t imagine how they’d be able to do it, Andre.” You say still holding your nose futility trying to block out Andre’s odor.
“I just wish I could get with Janice, she’s got ALL the sugar! (Buzz) But she won’t have anything to do with me; She thinks I’m just low class trash.”
“Well if you’re eating shit, I’d say she’s pretty much right.”
“It’s not just her sugar I’m after though, I think she’s beautiful! She has such heavenly wings, and a nice abdomen! Yep she really kept herself in good condition after all these years. (Buzz)”
“Yeah that’s real nice Andre, tell someone who cares.”
You start to leave and then Andre has the nerve to grab you by the arm.
“Wolf, please you gotta help me out! I can’t live like this anymore, I thought I could being part fly and all, but it’s getting too bad! I’m nearly killed everywhere I go and I’m getting too old to defend myself adequately! Humans hate the sight of me and I disgust them! I need to a home! Janice has a home! You gotta help me convince her that we should be together! Look, you know she’s rich too! You said you were in need of money too right? Maybe if we’re successful, something can be worked out.”
- ID: 32044
- Nickname: gohome
- Hits: 185
