Hall of Infinite Doors by apotheosis R

You put on cheerful colors, a bright green top and baby blue jeans. You shave your pseudo-beard and you comb your hair. You look hott. They child will be BEGGING you to target it! Satisfied, you get into your car, a non-descript van with tinted windows, and drive to the park. After circling a few times, you realize the playground may not be a good place to go: it is parent heavy, and looks devoid of children. An alternate but non-promising location is the sports area.