So you’ve decided to end it all.

There’s just no place in this world for you and you can’t cope with it. Only your death will make a difference. You want to get it right though, so for once in your life you’re going to be motivated to plan something out.

You continue to lay practically comatose in your room like you usually do, until your parents leave the house at night to go out swinging with the next door neighbors. They’ve long since not cared about leaving you by yourself since they figure all you’re going to do is lie in your room anyway.

But not this time.

You go to your parent’s bedroom where your Dad “hides” his fully loaded Desert Eagle. You’ve never fired it before, because your Dad didn’t think you were man enough to handle it. Well you’re man enough tonight and he’ll see that!

They’ll ALL see that!

You’ve seen enough movies where somebody kills themselves, so you do likewise and shove the gun in your mouth, pointing the barrel straight up

BANG!

You successfully blow your brains out all over the wall and your body slumps lifelessly on your parent’s bed.

Hold on there Corky, that ain’t the end of this tale just yet…

Your parent’s came home and found your dead body after a really wild night of swinging; it was a real downer for them. Your Mom got a little upset, but your Dad just muttered something about you ruining the bed and his gun.

Your death didn’t really make an impact at school mainly because you weren’t anybody to begin with. There’s a brief announcement over the intercom from the principal saying that if anyone is “traumatized” by your death that they may take some time off of school and counselors will be available. Naturally several opportunists want to take advantage of the situation, but when they find out that they’d have to attend your funeral, they decide it would just be easier to just cut class the old fashioned way.

Eventually only your parents and few distant family members attended your funeral and that was it.

A year later your Mom had a new baby to take care of and you were practically forgotten about altogether.

The moral of the story?

Don’t fucking commit suicide, because nobody’s really going to miss you after you’re gone and even if they do, it’s only temporary. Shit, you didn’t even have any REAL problems except the ones you created in your own sad little head. Did you have a serious terminal disease? Did you lose your dick in a horrible lawnmower accident? NO! So you weren’t popular, big fucking deal, life sucks, you deal with it! High school is only four Goddamn years anyway for fuck’s sake, be a fucking man and tough it out!

Besides suicide is a sin, so if you had hopes of having “peace” in the afterlife, think again, you’re going to be burning in hell right next to the Faggots and Muslims. Well either that or you’ll just rot in ground.

Still means one thing, you died a big loser.

And now you know!