You talk to the coke by your side.
"So, how's it like being a beverage?"
There is no response.
"Oh, I see, you're afraid of me huh?"
Still, no response. What a rude coke!
"Hey, do you even know who I am?"
Coke: .....
"I'm the guy in the movie who killed-" A cop grabs your arm but you swat it away.
"No! Bad cop! No doughnuts for you! I'm in the middle of a serious conversation!" You turn back to the coke.
"Soooo.... wanna go out sometime? You've got a nice body."
"Alright, you have the right to remain silent-"
"SHHHH! It's a movie! Don't talk over it!" The movie is then cut off.
"See, now you killed it! You killed the movie! Murderer!" You hold the coke and put a gun to its... head.
"NOBODY MOVE OR THE SOFT DRINK GETS IT!"
Unfortunately, the sadistic bastards don't care about the well being of americas loved beverage. They shoot the coke and you, ending both of your lives.