Gurl PowR! by Vesnicie R

“Oh my god, honey! What happened?” you gasp as you reach Gina. You are huffing and puffing and totally out of shape, but it doesn’t matter because you’re skinny and hot.

“It’s Jack!” she wails, wrapping her arms around you. You wish she wouldn’t drench your expensive blouse with tear and snot stains, but her hair at least smells like the new Orgasmic shampoo, which is nice.

“Jack!” you exclaim, pulling back with surprise. “I thought you left his worthless ass at Barney’s!”

“He called me just after I got off the phone with you.”

“And?”

“And! He put himself on speakerphone while he and his new girlfriend had sex!”

“Oh my god, that is totally disgusting.”

“Disgusting isn’t even the word for it. It’s, like, repulsiveyuckygrossnastyastic!”

“I’m sorry, hon.”

“It’s ok,” she sniffles, wiping a big tear off her delicate face. “I brought some ice cream for us to make up for it.”

“For us? But I was just about to get started with the Comrade…”

“You’re not done yet?!” she almost yells, exasperated.

“My batteries died and then I had to go to Pepe’s and you know what a talky bitch he is and then…”

“Fine, if you don’t want to eat ice cream with me and be my friend, then don’t!”

Oh god, she’s like, really mad.