Whoa there, Pat. First, I want you to bend over and check between your legs for balls. You don't have any? Hmmm.

While that is definitely a relief, your ovaries are most assuredly in need of growth, as your estrogen-to-testosterone level is far too low.

It's like I told my ex-wife when I met her: "There are hundreds of perfect guys in the world, but only four of us don't watch football."

GAME OVER!