Quickly remembering the lie you thought up on the way, you sputter it out with some stress.

“I…I was captured by a vampire! A really fucking sadistic one! He killed my scouting party and took me to say he was going to drain me slowly for fun! He took me to some cave in the hills and it was only by luck that I managed to kill him and escape! I would’ve made my way back sooner, but their were large groups of marauding orc raiders and demons escaping the ruins of the former Tulan Kingdom, so I was extra cautious and…”

At this point the Captain bashes you in the head with the hilt of her sword. You fall off the chair and onto the floor.

“LIAR! You expect me to believe this horse shit? I’ve had patrols going all through this area and there aren’t any orcs in the damn area. They all fled further north long ago and the remaining demons mostly ran to the west! Not to mention the closest hills have no caves! You obviously think so low of me that you thought you could fool me OR you’re just a complete idiot as well as a coward! Either way you haven’t convinced me, and you’re fit only for execution! You’re a deserter at best and a spy at worst!”

“No…wait…” are your last words before the Captain severs your head from your body.