How the World Wronged Michael Holt
Yes, mere moments ago, I was sitting right where you are now... metaphorically, of course. I wasn't actually sitting there in your house... no need to check the locks or anything. No, really. Just sit down and read!
Basically, life sucks because its vast array of endless opportunities stretches out before you, almost taunting you; provoking in you all at once a lust for life while providing no foolproof way of satiating said lust. It's like life says, "Oooh, lookie what I've got over here! You want it, don't you?" and then when you reach for it, life yanks it away and says, "Oh, no, I was talking to the hairless ape behind you... this fresh pile of horse shit is for you."
I may have pretended to want to go a different way with this, but my real focus here was to comment on the dating and bar scene. It sucks. There's no better way to put it. Something needed to be done, and it was about time that I did it for myself.
Real life is for chumps. Just ask any famous actor. If you can play a character that's rich and lucky with the ladies, who cares if you're not that guy when it's time for bed? Hell, any man alive would've given his left nut to be Brad Pitt's part in Mr. and Mrs. Smith!
So, putting the power of my infinite (okay, nearly infinite) genius to work, I decided to change my destiny! You're along for the ride to make sure the destiny train goes where you'd like to see it go. Imagine that I've shrunk myself down into your computer (so I'm only life-size, no longer larger than life - heh) and given you all the power of eternity to help me however you please.
Go ahead, make one man's dream come true. It won't kill you... even though it might kill me.
(Oh, now you're interested?!?)
Basically, life sucks because its vast array of endless opportunities stretches out before you, almost taunting you; provoking in you all at once a lust for life while providing no foolproof way of satiating said lust. It's like life says, "Oooh, lookie what I've got over here! You want it, don't you?" and then when you reach for it, life yanks it away and says, "Oh, no, I was talking to the hairless ape behind you... this fresh pile of horse shit is for you."
I may have pretended to want to go a different way with this, but my real focus here was to comment on the dating and bar scene. It sucks. There's no better way to put it. Something needed to be done, and it was about time that I did it for myself.
Real life is for chumps. Just ask any famous actor. If you can play a character that's rich and lucky with the ladies, who cares if you're not that guy when it's time for bed? Hell, any man alive would've given his left nut to be Brad Pitt's part in Mr. and Mrs. Smith!
So, putting the power of my infinite (okay, nearly infinite) genius to work, I decided to change my destiny! You're along for the ride to make sure the destiny train goes where you'd like to see it go. Imagine that I've shrunk myself down into your computer (so I'm only life-size, no longer larger than life - heh) and given you all the power of eternity to help me however you please.
Go ahead, make one man's dream come true. It won't kill you... even though it might kill me.
(Oh, now you're interested?!?)
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