Zoom out of the flame closeup to reveal someone else having just lit a cigarette. We see that the person who lit the cigarette is Mick and he is sitting at a round table in a sparsely populated bar. Sitting at the table with him are three other guys, Hank sits to his right, Sid (a small, wirey, but hyper young man) sits across the table from Mick, and Nick (an average looking guy who looks extremely stoned) sits to Mick’s right. They all have beers in front of them. We join the table in the middle of Sid bitching...
Sid: And that mother fucker called the cops on me! Can you believe that shit?!
Nick: Well, you did piss on the intercom.
Sid: But I asked for fries, Nick. And if you ask for fries and they don’t give them to you and you complain but they try to charge you for it...
Nick: But you can’t just piss on the drive-thru intercom.
Sid: I can and did.
Mick: So he called the cops? What’d they say to you?
Sid: Not a damn thing. Dude said he was calling the cops; I shook three times and got the fuck out of there. I’m not sticking around to talk to Johnny Law. Shit...
A moment of silence.
Hank: So how’s that Megan chick?
Mick: Hell if I now. I’m finished with her.
Hank: Finished? Already? You seemed more than just ‘okay’ earlier today.
Mick: Yeah, well... She talks too much, man. Don’t get me wrong, she has a great set of tits and a gorgeous ass, but she never shuts up. She talks endlessly and about nothing at all. I put my dick in her mouth to shut her up and she actually tried to talk around it.
Nick: I’m guessing she managed with all of that mouth-room.(everyone laughs, including Mick)
Mick: Yeah, cause her mouth was so big. Heh-heh. (wipes a tear from his eye)
Sid: Dude, no. I think he was making fun of your dick. (Mick’s smile vanishes immediately, he glares coldly at Nick.)
Mick: Is that true, Nick? Were you making fun of my penis?
Nick: Man, what did they used to call you in highschool? Was it Pinky? (Mick stands up to yell at Nick.)
Mick: Hey fuck you guys! That was all a misunderstanding! I had just got done swimming and it couldn’t be helped!
Sid: Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. Check it out, (points towards the door) I think an Amish dude just walked in.
(Mick returns to his seat, all eyes go to the door where an Amish guy takes a seat at the bar.)
Mick: Holy shit. There really is an Amish guy at the bar.
Nick: So what? I don’t get it.
Sid: Isn’t it against his religion or something?
Hank: I don’t know, Sid. But I’ve seen him in here before.
Sid: I’m pretty sure it is, man. Lights shining down from above, air conditioning... That man is a sinner.
Nick: You’re fucked up, dude.
Sid: Screw you, Nick. It’s the damned truth and you know it.
Nick: Whatever.
(The door to the bar opens and an attractive blonde woman walks in. She makes her way directly to the back of the bar, where the restrooms are, and passes our table on the way. Mick, Sid, and Nick follow her every step with their eyes.)
Nick: Damn... Did you guys see that shit?
Mick: She’s mine.
Sid: What?
Mick: I said she’s mine. I called it.
Nick: You can’t just call something like that, Mick.
Mick: I just did. She’s mine.
Sid: This isn’t like calling passenger seat in the car, man.
Mick: No, it isn’t. You’re right about that. It will probably be the backseat.
Sid: That’s bullshit.
Nick: I agree.
Mick: Hey, you guys just need to sharpen your reflexes.
Sid: Don’t you get enough pussy?
Mick: There is no such thing as enough pussy.
Sid: You’re really pissing me off here.
(A long bit of silence is shared at the table. Hank breaks the silence.)
Hank: One year... (the others look at him)
Sid: What?
Mick: Oh no, not this shit again, Hank! What the fuck?!
Sid: Is this the Violet thing again?
Mick: Man, you know it is.
Hank: One year ago as of yesterday. My whole world came crashing down and now I am left with the shattered pieces, unwilling and unable to pick them up and put them back together. (takes a long drink from his beer then sets the bottle down and stares off into space)
Sid: Uh-oh, we lost him.
Mick: (shrugging) Eh, he’ll come back to us eventually.
(The hot blonde chick is apparently done in the restroom and walks back past the table, the guys (save for Hank) check her out without shame and she starts to walk past them but stops after a glance at the table. She does a double take then walks up to the table, her eyes on Hank. Her name, by the way, is Amber)
Amber: Hey. (she directs her “hey” to Hank, but Hank is staring into space and not paying any attention.)
Amber: Hello? (waves her hand in front of him, Hank seems to snap out of it)
Hank: What? Oh, hi.
Amber: Do I know you?
Hank: You might, I don’t know.
Amber: Don’t you live like right next door to here?
Hank: I do.
Amber: I thought so. I live right across the street from you.
Hank: You live at Taco Hut?
Amber: The other street.
Hank: Oh, right. No shit?
Amber: No shit. (extends her hand for him to shake) I’m Amber.
Hank: Hi, (shakes her hand) I’m Hank, this is Nick, Sid, and Mick.
Amber: It’s nice to meet all of you.
Mick: Would you like to join us?
Amber: Oh, no. I wouldn’t want to impose. I’m going to go get a drink...
Mick: You wouldn’t be imposing at all, Amber. Have a seat, I’ll buy your drink. (stands up) What should I get you?
Amber: Thank you. I’ll take a Lowenbrau. (sits)
Mick: Good taste... Anyone else need anything?
Nick: Grab me another beer, Mick.
Mick: Alright. I’ll be back momentarily. (Mick walks off to the bar.)
Hank: I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before... How long have you been living across the street from me?
Amber: I haven’t lived there long, maybe two or three weeks now.
Hank: Ah...
Amber: You know, if I hadn’t seen you earlier today in Taco Hut, I wouldn’t even have recognized you.
Hank: You were in Taco Hut today?
Amber: Yeah, and you stole a cup of pop or something?
Hank: I didn’t steal it, I just got a refill is all.
Amber: (smirking a bit) Uh-huh...
(a bit of silence)
Sid: That’s pissing me off more and more by the minute.
Amber: What is?
Sid: That fucking Amish guy.
Hank: For crying out loud, Sid; let the man drink in peace.
Sid: No, fuck that. These Amish people sit on their little pedestals of exalted holiness, shunning society for the application of technology to every day life; calling us sinners for use of electricity and plumbing; and one of them has the nerve to walk into a bar, sit down, and start drinking.
Amber: What? Why? Amish people aren’t aloud to drink?
Sid: I don’t know about the drinking, but shouldn’t the glow of the florescent lights be burning his fucking skin?! (Mick returns, handing Amber her beer and Nick his before pulling up a chair and sitting down.)
Amber: Are you always an asshole?
Sid: (shrugging) Call me what you will, but don’t stand for bullshit like that.
(Amber rolls her eyes, a short period of silence overtakes the table.)
Mick: So... How did an attractive woman like yourself remain a secret for so long in a town this small?
Amber: I just moved here a few weeks ago.
Mick: Where from? Olympus?
Amber: What? Olympus?
Mick: The home of the Greek gods and goddesses.
Amber: Oh. Is that how you pick up nerdy girls?
Mick: What? I- Well, whatever works. I was alluding that you are a goddess.
Nick: Cause mythology always gets the babes, eh Mick?
Amber: Uh-huh. Do I look like a nerd to you?
Mick: No, not at all. You look like a smart girl, which is why I figured you get the Greek mythology reference.
Amber: So now I’m stupid because I didn’t pick up on your Olympus allusion? I’m a dumb chick now?
Mick: I’m really digging how you keep referring to yourself as a chick. (Amber chuckles at this.)
Sid: Don’t laugh along with him, Amber; you’ll only encourage him.
Mick: Is it getting hot in here for anyone else?
Nick: Oh for the love of God, Pinky! Cut it out would you?!
Amber: Did he just call you Pinky? What kind of a nickname is that?
Mick: It’s a long story that I’d rather not get into right now.
(A bit of an uncomfortable silence falls over the table)
Nick: Have you ever been in here before, Amber?
Amber: Last Friday. But there were a lot more people in here.
(Sid suddenly stands up and points at the lights over head.)
Sid: It’s the devil!! Satan shines his unholy light down upon us!! He assaults us with his florescent glow!!
(All heads in the bar turn in his direction. The Amish guy is grim faced. The people sitting with Sid hide their faces, pretending not to have noticed the outburst or not to know Sid at all. After a few moments, Sid sits back down.)
Amber: I can’t believe you just did that.
Sid: Why not? Fuck that Amish fuck.
Amber:[b] What did he ever do to you?
(silence)
[b]Sid: Man, fuck him and the horse and buggy he rolled in on.
(Bartender calls “Last Call” loudly across the bar.)
Hank: Is it that time already?
Mick: I’ll go buy another round. Nick, you owe me a beer, so you’re coming with me.
Nick: Alright, fine. (Mick and Nick stand up and make their way over to the bar.)
Amber: So... What’s this “pinky” thing about that he doesn’t want to discuss? (Sid and Hank both grin widely.)
Hank: It’s probably best if we don’t spill the beans on this one.
Amber: Oh come on, I won’t tell him I know.
Hank: Nah, sorry.
Sid: If you ask, Mick will probably show you.
Amber: Somehow I do not trust you two...
Sid: It’s your loss.
Amber: I checked his hands and he has all his fingers...
Sid: And then some. (Hank and Sid both laugh)
Amber: You know what? Fuck you guys.
Hank: What?! Why?
Amber: You’re all keeping secretes and sharing inside jokes and shit. Fuck you.
(Mick and Nick return with the drinks and sit down at the table. Everyone finishes off their previous drink and start on their new ones.)
Sid: Fucking Amish fuck.
Amber: What is your deal with the Amish?
Sid: What’s my deal with them?! What’s their fucking deal?! They don’t believe in plumbing or electricity, for crying out loud! How fucking stupid is that shit?
Amber: Well... That’s what they believe in. Why can’t the believe that?
Sid: Their belief is that the devil can be found in technology?
Mick: That is kind of stupid when you think about it.
Amber: Yeah, but you can’t just mock someone for their beliefs. They have the right to believe whatever they want.
Sid: Why the hell can’t I mock them for their foolish beliefs? It’s a free mother fucking country. He’s free to believe that the devil can be found in a lightbulb and I am free to ridicule his stupid ass for actually buying into that shit.
Amber: Okay, but morally speaking...
Hank: (shaking his head) Sid has no morals.
Amber: I see...
(At this point the drinks should be nearly finished. Hank chugs the rest of his beer down.)
Amber: This is a nice quiet bar.
(Hank belches loudly and at length.)
Nick: For the most part, anyway.
Mick: For sure it’s a nice hick town bar.
(Amber finishes her drink and sets it down on the table.)
Amber: Well that’s it. I’m going to call it a night then.
(Amber stands, Hank does as well. The other guys finish off their drinks relatively quickly.)
Sid: (somewhat loudly) Hey, are we still going to your place after this to smoke some weed?
(Hank looks around.)
Hank: Yeah. Why don’t you say it a little louder, Sid? I’m not sure if everyone in the bar heard you.
Amber: Are you guys coming or what?
[i]Those who still have a bit of a drink left chug the rest of down. The five of them walk away from the table and towards the door. The camera remains at the table, as they walk farther and farther away. They reach the door and Exit the bar.
cut to:
Choose:
- ID: 61282
- Hits: 18
