Refills by donteatpoop R

Exterior of bar, doors swing open and out walk Hank and Sid. They take no more than a dozen steps when they see Amber walking in their direction, towards the bar.

Amber: You guys are leaving already?

Hank: Yeah.

Amber: What’s the deal?

Sid: Mick’s getting a spit shine polish on his knob.

Amber: He’s what?

Hank: The dude is so fucking nasty. He came in with some skanky chick and the girl went under the table and proceeded to give him head.

Amber: Eeeeewwww...

Hank: That’s ezactly what we were saying.

(The door to the bar opens and the Amish guy (Abe) walks out.)

Abe: Hey! Hey, you!

(Hank and Sid turn around to see Abe walking towards them and pointing directly at Sid.)

Abe: Do you have some sort of problem with me?

Sid: What gave you that impression?

Abe: All you’re ignorant little comments about my heritage.

Sid: Ah.

Abe: If you have something to say, little fella; you’d best say it to my face.

Sid: Well what do you want me to say? I think you’re a bit of a hypocrite is all. You sit in a bar that has both electricity and plumbing as though it isn’t something that you’re sworn against using.

Abe: Nothing says I can’t be around electricity or plumbing, only that I cannot use it.

Sid:Are you not using it if the electrical lighting allows you to see?

Abe: I can’t help that the lights are on, or that they help me see at night. I never touch the damn switches.

Sid: Yeah, that sounds just like something an Amish hypocrite might say.

Abe: We could easily settle this like gentlemen. (cracks knuckles)

Sid: I thought violence was against your religion too.

Abe: That’s just a guideline, really.