Tales From The Basement by EndMaster R

Are you fucking serious? I was fucking joking about that! Then again you’re pretty much bat shit insane at this point anyway…

Okay so you look at the poster of your unnatural object of desire, and begin to concentrate.

And concentrate…

And concentrate…

Well you’ve stared at the fuckin’ picture long enough to get you horny as hell, but she still hasn’t come to life and spread her green legs for you yet.

All you’ve gotten is an erection from your staring.

Now you’re looking at your dick.
You’re looking at the pic.
You’re looking at your dick.
You’re looking at the pic.
Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick. Pic. Dick.

While all this is mildly amusing, we probably should get on with this futile exercise

“URRRGGGH!”

That’s you still trying to wish She-Hulk into existence.

You don’t have a boner anymore since all the blood rushing to your other head as you redouble your efforts into concentrating on the poster.

Of course now you’re starting to give yourself a fucking headache from this nonsense, in fact you’re getting a little dizzy, you silly motherfucker.

Y’know you gave it a shot, but maybe this just wasn’t meant to be.

Your cousin Patricia’s still available and considering what a hopeless loser you are anyway, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you tried to pursue her again. I mean someone like you really should get it where you can and you can’t do that by jacking off to cartoon characters in your mom’s basement.

Think about how she left. She seemed pretty upset on a personal level. Maybe she even liked you romantically in some way. Maybe you could contact her again.

Of course if you wanna risk giving yourself a fuckin’ seizure, it’s your choice.